I can't belive it's been about a year since I last wrote. Aidan is going to be 16 months old (1 year and 4 months for people who do not have kiddos) so Brandon said he wants to marry me but only If  I to keep the house clean, and manage my money better, now it's I want to get our current debt in order before we make another (witch I can understand) but all I can think about is why doesn't a guy want to marry me what's wrong with me, even though he says he wants to get married  part of me thinks he just doesn't want to marry me. oh the latest thing is yes he wants to get married to me, he said I quate "we have been togeather nearly three years of course I want to marry you" THEN WHY THE FUDGE HASN'T HE ASKED ME YET!!! oh he also said I can start planning our wedding but I can't set any dates for it ahhhhhhh that doesn't help, how can I plan for something when I don't even know when to have it............ this relationship is in some ways Idenical to my x that I spent 6 years with. with the whole marrage thing, then about six months after I left the x I found out he's engaged. that's where I get what wrong with me.........and I told Brandon I wasted 6 years with the x that I am not going to do that again,  so far we are talking 2008 but he keeps thinking about the darn debt looks to be later and later every time we talk about it. there's what's left of our credit card and loan debt and the hospital charges from having aidan so lets see credit card 3500 loan 1300 hospital 2000=around 6,800 then he tacks on his unpaid medical bills from nebraska (before we met) and it totals around he said 8,000 to 9,000  we have been working on the others for 3 years now it was 10,000 and we are only at 6,800, ahhh my x needs to sell the house (our house) soon that will be at least 4,000 then with tax season right around the corner again last year it was about 5,000 so there's the blooming 9,000 to finish the debt off so I have to think of a way to start saving for our wedding I think every other pay check I get goes in to a savings account for it, that way tax season of 2008 will be for our wedding (he wants a big screen t.v. yeah right I want the rings 1st then he can get his toys) oh by the way I now work the apts I live at i'm a caretaker it pays the rent and keeps me home with Aidan. well going to go now this is long enough good night all.

Hello all. well it's going to be a little boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! his name is Aidan Evan, there's not much to say except he's a mover, speaking of moving we move to a two bedroom at the end of next month, well there is not much more to say.

Hello all:So since my last entry I got put on anti-nausea pills cause I was getting so sick I was losing weight insted of gaining, holy crap if I didn't have insurance I can't imagine how much they would have cost me, with insurance they were $65 bucks and they only last 10 days so every 10 days there went another 65 now that I am offically in my 2nd trimester they thought all the morning sickness should go away, 1st  day went fine second day not so well, we'll see about today though... here's hope'n so I told dad to be he can pick the girls name if it's a girl cause he didn't give me to much of opinon on the one I picked as long as she has the middle name Ann, I know it's a common middle, but I have 2 reasons. 1) after my Aunt Jean Ann, who died when I was about 8 or so ans 2) after my older sister Paula Ann, I'm hoping for a boy though, my names I picked out for both (got remember the girls name is now scratched, he didn't like it to much) if boy Aidan Evan and girl Jayda Ann, I like unique names. I was told by my mother just the other day that my Grandma has started a baby afgan for my little one and for my cuz.. oh who also is due in July, her Due date is my B-day July 10th, the luck of her accually having little one on the exact same day is slim to none. were just a couple weeks apart from each other, all I can say Is my family is born in heards, (it's a running joke in my family) back to my little one, we won't know what baby is going to be until next month, but here's hope'n for a boy. Bye bye

 

well nothing to new yet. like I poted before little one is due July, so I'm 14 weeks along, basicly  almost 4 months, if you go by calander weeks a woman would be carrying the kid for 10 months instead of 9, so to be honest In reality I have no clue  how far I am, by the docs Im barley to the end of my 3rd and by calander Im a week into my 4th, that is why kids are eather born erly or late cause no one knows exacticaly......... all I know is 6 months from now my life is going to get very stressfull and blissfull all at the same time, arghhhhhhhhhh well going to go now

ahhh I just typed a lot and I accadently hit the back button on my mouse i'm not going to retype every thing again!!! I'll do it later, here's the jist I'm going to have a little one due in july

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Copy this whole list into your journal.
2. Bold the things that are true about you.
3. Whatever you don't bold is false.

01. I miss somebody right now
02. I don't watch much tv these days
03. I love olives
04. I love sleeping
05. I own lots of bboks
06. I wear glasses and/or contact lenses.
07.  I love to play videogames..
08. I've tried pot.
09. I've watched porn movies.
10. I have been in a threesome
11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
13.  I have acne free skin
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton
15. I curse frequently
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.                                                               17.  I have a hobby.
18. I've been told I have an (women)applebottom/(men)am packing.
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
20. I'm really, really smart.
21. I've never broken someone's bones.
22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to admit.
23. I hate the rain.
24. I'm paranoid at times.
25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost and scar.
26. I need money right now.
27. I love Sushi.
28. I talk really, really fast.
29. I have fresh breath in the morning.
30. I have semi-long hair.
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
32. I have at least one brother and/or sister.
33. I was born in a country outside of U.S.
34. I shave my legs(females) or face(males) on a regular basis.
35. I have a twin.
36. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
37. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
38. I like the way I look.
39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.
40. I know how to do cornrows.
41. I am usually pessimistic.
42. I have a lot of mood swings.
43. I think prostitution should be legalized.
44. I think Britney Spears is the hottest out of the pop divas.
45. I have cheated on my significant other in the past year.
46. I have a hidden talent.
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
48. I think that I'm popular.
49. I am currently single.
50. I have kissed someone of the same sex.
51. I enjoy talking on the phone.
52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
53. I love to shop.
54. I would rather shop than eat.
55. I would classify myself as ghetto.
56. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
57. I'm obsessed with my Xenga or LiveJournal or Bravejournal.
58. I don't hate anyone.
59. I'm a pretty good dancer.
60. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
62. I have a cell phone.
63. I believe in God.
64. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
66. I love drama.
67. I have never been in a real relationship before.
68. I've rejected someone before.
69. I currently have a crush on someone.
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
71. I want to have children in the future.
72. I have changed a diaper before.
73. I've called the cops on a friend before.
74. I bite my nails.
75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
76. I am not allergic to anything.
77. I have a lot to learn.
78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger.
79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie.
80. I am shy around the opposite sex.
81. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved.
83. I have tried alcohol or drugs before.
84. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.
85. I own the "South Park" movie.
86. I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or LiveJournal.
87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum.
88. I enjoy country music.
90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can.
92. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
95. I know all the works to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy/get a costume.
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
98. I have dated a close friend's ex.
99. I'm happy as of this moment.

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Copy this whole list into your journal.
2. Bold the things that are true about you.
3. Whatever you don't bold is false.

01. I miss somebody right now
02. I don't watch much tv these days
03. I love olives
04. I love sleeping
05. I own lots of bboks
06. I wear glasses and/or contact lenses.
07.  I love to play videogames..
08. I've tried pot.
09. I've watched porn movies.
10. I have been in a threesome
11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
13.  I have acne free skin
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton
15. I curse frequently
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.                                                               17.  I have a hobby.
18. I've been told I have an (women)applebottom/(men)am packing.
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
20. I'm really, really smart.
21. I've never broken someone's bones.
22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to admit.
23. I hate the rain.
24. I'm paranoid at times.
25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost and scar.
26. I need money right now.
27. I love Sushi.
28. I talk really, really fast.
29. I have fresh breath in the morning.
30. I have semi-long hair.
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
32. I have at least one brother and/or sister.
33. I was born in a country outside of U.S.
34. I shave my legs(females) or face(males) on a regular basis.
35. I have a twin.
36. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
37. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
38. I like the way I look.
39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.
40. I know how to do cornrows.
41. I am usually pessimistic.
42. I have a lot of mood swings.
43. I think prostitution should be legalized.
44. I think Britney Spears is the hottest out of the pop divas.
45. I have cheated on my significant other in the past year.
46. I have a hidden talent.
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
48. I think that I'm popular.
49. I am currently single.
50. I have kissed someone of the same sex.
51. I enjoy talking on the phone.
52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
53. I love to shop.
54. I would rather shop than eat.
55. I would classify myself as ghetto.
56. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
57. I'm obsessed with my Xenga or LiveJournal or Bravejournal.
58. I don't hate anyone.
59. I'm a pretty good dancer.
60. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
62. I have a cell phone.
63. I believe in God.
64. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
66. I love drama.
67. I have never been in a real relationship before.
68. I've rejected someone before.
69. I currently have a crush on someone.
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
71. I want to have children in the future.
72. I have changed a diaper before.
73. I've called the cops on a friend before.
74. I bite my nails.
75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
76. I am not allergic to anything.
77. I have a lot to learn.
78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger.
79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie.
80. I am shy around the opposite sex.
81. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved.
83. I have tried alcohol or drugs before.
84. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.
85. I own the "South Park" movie.
86. I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or LiveJournal.
87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum.
88. I enjoy country music.
90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can.
92. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
95. I know all the works to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy/get a costume.
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
98. I have dated a close friend's ex.
99. I'm happy as of this moment.

Why hello all so my plan has taken affect today, day one wish me luck melissa, so all in all i am doing alright today, the BF is sleeping right now, I got Lion King 2 in the mail 2day with the collectors Litho's just an FYI  Im a big disney freak the only origanal disney video I don't have on dvd is cinderella but that has never been released on dvd same with Aladian but that is going to be released soon, it's already pre-ordered, if you pre-order through disney.com you get litho's with there movies and some like Aladian you get a pin and plushies, If I remember right they are ofabu and Iygo(jafar's bird) "seek thee out the dimond in the ryemond in the raff" the lion head cave in the begining of the movie. I am such a disney freak even I think I'm pathetic.... There is going to be a mulan two comming out in 2005, that was a good disney movie. o just info on me I have the little mermaid and 101 on dvd (when dvd 1st came out they were released then put in the vault basically as quick as they came out) now you can't find them really any where xcept on VHS, so I concider myself kinda lucky at that poit other wise I would be missing quite a few o another tid bit of info, (ahh what is that theater at the MN zoo) anyways if a disney movie gets reraleased there it's a garuntee that it will come out on dvd that fallowing October (found that out from a disney store employee) so that used to be my fav store in the Burnsville center but they are so high cost that it closed (AHHHHHH) and now it's some Photo place the last time I was there. boring.........so hopefully someday I will have a kid to past all these movies and collectors crap to (they better not damge them when they are little o so piss me off) another thing that pisses me off Is I forgeot to grab all my disney VHS when I left my x so now I bet I'll never get them back (fyi b4 I left he wanted to throw all our vhs away including the disney) I hope he hasn't yet. mmmmmmmmmmmm going to go now bub bye

So I had a cuz get married today and I did go cause lack of funds and the BF wasn't going, to show up at a wedding (A familys wedding there the most critical people I know) with out a date, how embarassing, and if I was to go stag they know I have a BF and to show up with out him, yeah no thank you. I have a friends wedding in september and he promises me he will go and stay as late as I want to stay, so anyways, it's already saturday I work tomarrow night ICKY !! so I feel real guilty I had to barrow $165 from the bf last month and another $225 this month, man I can't wait till the x outta my life then I can pay the BF back, and I don't have to owe anyone any $, and right now he's bugging me to get off the puter cause he wants to play cs (counter strike)....... trying to think of some thing else to type that way he has to wait longer hahaha.just thinking about all that $ makes my stomache turn and the kicker is he's not upset with barrowing me money at all, where when I did with the x he got all pissy say where's my money but with mood he's like it's no big deal I know you'll pay me back and so on yada yada, i'm not used to this he makes me feel like me, I don't have to act better than I am, (the x looked down on me) I can't belive it took me 6 years to relialize what an ass he was, the only prob with dating a 23 year old he acts his age video games, going out every weekend so on so forth, but he's got a friend IM him right now so I have to wrap this up. he's going to a friends tonight for a couple hrs so I will be back on soon anyways. alrighty bye bye